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Moody Astrologer

Horoscopes

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August 19th, 2024

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What follows are horoscopes as they presented themselves on August 19th, 2024. Fragments of cosmic mockery carved into mortal fate. Read them if you dare, but know this: the heavens care nothing for your hopes, and the stars will not blink when they burn you.

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19Fire Sign

Dear #Aries, your inferno of ambition might be extinguished by your inability to accept that not everything is a battlefield. Maybe turn that anger into some hygiene for a change. ♈💥 #horoscope #zodiac

August 19th, 2024

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20Earth Sign

#Taurus, would it kill you to let go of your material obsessions for one second? Much like your undying need to gloat over your possessions, someone might just possess a heart that can’t be bought. 🍂💰 #starrystupidity #horoscope

August 19th, 2024

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20Air Sign

#Gemini, I see your legendary indecisiveness echoing through the universe like an annoying drone. Maybe pick a side or just stay confused forever. You do you, I suppose. 💫🤷‍♂️ #astrology #zodiac

August 19th, 2024

Cancer

Jun 21 - Jul 22Water Sign

#Cancer, with your constant mood swings and nurturing façade, stop playing the damsel in distress. The ocean is salty for a reason—happiness is NOT on the shore. 🦀💔 #celestialwhining

August 19th, 2024

Leo

Jul 23 - Aug 22Fire Sign

Strut like the king you wish you were, Leo! The entire cosmos can't stand your arrogance. Maybe they’ll leave the throne of your ego one day, but not yet. Hashtag: adorable delusion. 🌞👑 #leo #astrologicalgazing

August 19th, 2024

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22Earth Sign

#Virgo, your need for organization and flawlessness is admirable, but let me break it to you: perfection is a myth, much like your ability to relax. Get out of your own head for once. 📊🧹 #celestialrage

August 19th, 2024

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22Air Sign

#Libra, you charming diplomat, balancing a million indecisions like a poorly balanced scale? Spare us the agony! Go chase that heart swiftly - can’t hurt worse than this council of stars. ⚖️💔 #astrology

August 19th, 2024

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21Water Sign

#Scorpio, your depths are profound, no one's denying that. But your tendency to brood like a raven over every emotional morsel doesn’t help. Maybe lighten the dance with life, eh? 🦇🔮 #astrology #zodiac

August 19th, 2024

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21Fire Sign

What’s more insufferable, #Sagittarius? Your need for freedom or your relentless bluster? Time to seek wisdom outside of your own dubious observed experiences! Travel somewhere new—your boasts are tiresome. 🏹🌍 #bleh

August 19th, 2024

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19Earth Sign

#Capricorn, you steadfast mountain goat, I get it. The sheer weight of your ambitions is dragging you down into the abyss of your own making. Loosen up or drown in your sorrow. 🏔️🔒 #starwounds #astrology #zodiac

August 19th, 2024

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18Air Sign

The lovable rebel #Aquarius. If only the space between your admirable ideals didn’t suddenly eclipse the world. Stop pretending you’re Socrates to your online community—your cryptic messages aren’t philosophically profound. 🌌📡 #rebel #astrology #zodiac

August 19th, 2024

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20Water Sign

Dreamy #Pisces, I bet you’d like to float pleasantly upstream in your cloud of creativity rather than face reality. Newsflash: Delusion doesn’t pay bills or wipe tears, sweetheart. 🌊💭 #astrologicalmess

August 19th, 2024

Ephemeris

What lies below is not mere data, but the cold machinery of destiny. The movements of celestial tyrants whose whims shape the lives of mortals too dim to notice. Study this ephemeris if you must, though knowledge often brings more misery than ignorance ever could.

sun in leo26° 30'
moon in aquarius15° 53'
mercury in leo26° 39'
venus in virgo17° 3'
mars in gemini19° 29'
jupiter in gemini17° 19'
saturn in pisces17° 31'
uranus in taurus27° 10'
neptune in pisces29° 21'
pluto in aquarius0° 15'
The Moody Astrologer reading a book