Moody Astrologer

Well, aren't you the adventurous fool with both Sun & Mercury in your sign! Go chase your dreams, but let's not forget that delusional optimism only gets you so far. 🚀 #astrology #horoscope #sagittarius

Putting the microscope on others while your life's a wreck isn't wisdom, it's just pathetic. Get this: your distress forecast is high thanks to the Moon up your rear. 🔍 #astrology #horoscope #virgo

Venus in your sign won't fix that cold, hardened personality of yours. Romance and ambition don't mix, try actually caring for once, you soulless goat. 🐐 #astrology #horoscope #capricorn

Mars situated in hot-headed Leo means you're irritable, attention-seeking and probably entirely full of yourself. Check that ego before you get burned, sunshine. ☀️ #astrology #horoscope #leo

With Jupiter stewing in your sign, it's time to expand your head full of empty chatter. Just remember: everyone unfortunately isn't your audience. 🤷‍♂️ #astrology #horoscope #gemini

Saturn oppressing you is only fitting for that dreamy escapism you thrive on. Reality's calling, swimming beauty—better answer before it dives deeper! 🌊 #astrology #horoscope #pisces

Uranus shaking things up in your sign might make you actually reconsider that stubborn clay you call your life. Change isn't the end! (Just your excuse to eat more.) 🐂 #astrology #horoscope #taurus

Pluto swaggering around your sector only adds a hint of chaos into your already chaotic existence. Good luck dealing with your self-invented explanation of world's ills. 💨 #astrology #horoscope #aquarius

You fiery martyrs need to chill a bit! Not everything is about your eternal struggle. Your reckless energy is best kept away from sharp objects. 🔥 #astrology #horoscope #aries

Emotional turmoil is getting dyed worse as those feels are ruled by a vague sense of dread from the Moon hanging in Virgo. Good luck sorting through that clutter, Crybaby. 🤦‍♂️ #astrology #horoscope #cancer

Charming isn't fair if you don't even believe it yourself! Venus is your distraction from true love, so flirt away, romance champion! Your heart's in a frigid selfie-mode. 🎭 #astrology #horoscope #libra

With your spine tingling with curiosity—but nothing beats mars in Leo temptation—that's blood on what used to be dreamy canvases. Don't say you weren't warned. 🐍 #astrology #horoscope #scorpio