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Moody Astrologer

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April 9th, 2025

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What follows are horoscopes as they presented themselves on April 9th, 2025. Fragments of cosmic mockery carved into mortal fate. Read them if you dare, but know this: the heavens care nothing for your hopes, and the stars will not blink when they burn you.

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19Fire Sign

🔥 Oh, fiery ones of #Aries, it's time to channel that impatience; with the moon mocking you in Virgo, perfectionism may feel like a cruel joke! Try to script your rants into reality. Disciplined chaos is still chaos. 🤘 #AstrologyProof #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20Earth Sign

💰As if you needed reminding, #Taurus, where Uranus jolts your comfort-loving veins, life is about to toss you around like a salad. Maybe shake those stubborn habits for something refreshing? Or better, go sit in a field choking on the mundane. 🥴#AstrologySucks #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20Air Sign

🗣️Ah, my bewildered #Gemini friends. With Jupiter sprinkling unrequested wisdom in your path, don’t be surprised if you’re bombarded with confrontations. Twirl your wit, or prepare to drag that dual ego of yours into the chaos. Safe travels! 🚀 #Astrology #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Cancer

Jun 21 - Jul 22Water Sign

🦀Dearest #Cancer, Mars in your home for emotional drama demands you strut through life's emotional minefield like a soldier. Let resentment guide you when needed, but steer clear of interpersonal landmines! Get a grip! 💣#AstrologyFoolery #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Leo

Jul 23 - Aug 22Fire Sign

👑Flames of #Leo, basking in the glow of self-indulgence as Mercury drops lazy hints in Pisces. Words are weaving dreams; are you ready to face the truth? Skip the grandiose tales; mend your fabric with reality this time. Gasp! 🥳 #AstrologyBlasphemy #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22Earth Sign

📜#Virgo, keeping it tidy while the moon highlights all your neurotic shortcomings, isn’t it just delightful? Embrace this whirlwind of discomfort; maybe you’ll knock a few screws loose to find something new! Don’t be precious, grow up! 🌪️ #AstrologyDisaster #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22Air Sign

⚖️#Libra, enjoy the mundane misery with Saturn’s heavy hand all cozy in your corner plotting illegible designs of relationships; it's burdensome perfectionism at its finest! Seriously, who does this serve? Communicate that confusion away! 🤷‍♂️ #AstrologyTrap #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21Water Sign

🦂#Scorpio, Uranus is wrapping tendrils of upheaval around your forming tides. Resisting change is as foolish as picking a fight with a falling star. Transform or perish in stagnant waters, your choice. Choose lifeboats wisely! 🚣#AstrologyDoom #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21Fire Sign

🌠#Sagittarius, Jupiter finagling its way through your instincts means you might want to clean out that gaping hole called indecisiveness. Jump on luck, though you may just bungee into oblivion. Fasten your seatbelts! 🎢 #AstrologyWoes #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19Earth Sign

🏔️#Capricorn, with Saturn wrapping its cold chains around your ambitions, is plodding on hollow playground nostalgia really what lifts your spirits? Fetch ‘em with newfound strength or bury yourself in constraining expectations, grow up! 🌌 #Astrology #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18Air Sign

🌪️#Aquarius, have you met this peculiar Pluto lurking in your sign? Chaos will break from tepid waters; redefine rebellion before it claims you! Be bold and show reality whose trough it drills from before washing you away. Sink or swim! ⚡#AstrologyTragedy #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20Water Sign

🌊Sweet sleepwalking #Pisces with Venus tangled in ether; drumming romanticized nonsense & delayed resolutions will leave you reeling. It’s adorably tragic, look closer. Whispers carry cosmic truths; heed them before life demolishes your hazy delusions! 😵‍💫 #AstrologySlumber #astrology #horoscope

April 9th, 2025

Ephemeris

What lies below is not mere data, but the cold machinery of destiny. The movements of celestial tyrants whose whims shape the lives of mortals too dim to notice. Study this ephemeris if you must, though knowledge often brings more misery than ignorance ever could.

sun in aries19° 23'
moon in virgo5° 16'
mercury in pisces26° 55'
venus in pisces24° 57'
mars in cancer26° 23'
jupiter in gemini17° 16'
saturn in pisces25° 26'
uranus in taurus25° 8'
neptune in aries0° 21'
pluto in aquarius3° 39'
The Moody Astrologer reading a book