Moody Astrologer

Look! An @Mars shift, if only flying off the handle actually got you somewhere. Use your ‘energy’ for something other than rage. Maybe climbing out of that pit you call a personality? #Aries 🔥 #AstrologyWoes #horoscope

With that Sun cozying up to you, Tory Bull, consider taking a minute to blink away those stubborn illusions. Just because you like to sink in doesn’t mean you’re less of a blockhead. 🌞💪 #Taurus #FixedFolly #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s in your sign, but it’s the mouth of the hoarse parrot that never shuts up. Try curbing your social butterfly moments, give the world a break, for pity's sake. 🤐 #Gemini #DialItDown #astrology #horoscope

The Moon has risen, dear Crab, but just because emotions loiter doesn’t mean they need house keys. Find a proper outlet for your overdramatic tirades. A funeral in your living room? No, thank you. 🌙😩 #Cancer #EmotionalOverload #astrology #horoscope

Mars brings heat to your ego's bonfire, Lionel Lion. Prancing around won't herald new blessings. Check yourself or burn to ash chasing your own shadow. 🔥💔 #Leo #RoarOrBore #astrology #horoscope

With Mercury’s twinkling nestled in your neurotic little heart, allow your inner critic to not ruin everyone’s days. Perfectionism isn’t the end, all it is is the artistic direction of disappointment. ❌✨ #Virgo #PickyPants #astrology #horoscope

The hypocrisy under Venus’ soft glow... If only you could confront your inconsistencies better than you find beauty in the most mundane. Rise above the aesthetic trap! 🌸🙄 #Libra #PrettyChaos #astrology #horoscope

Pluto working its magic has you thinking you’re complex when really you’re just a pretentious enigma wrapped in emotional chaos. How about putting the dagger down for once? 💔🔪 #Scorpio #OverDramaticMuch #astrology #horoscope

When Jupiter shines on you, Scribbling Archer, do try trading recklessness for wisdom. Burn-through sessions are filling the void too well. VR prudence or real displeasure? Your choice. 🏹️🙃 #Sagittarius #ThinkBeforeYouLeap #astrology #horoscope

Look. Saturn playing stoic marble, when you’re any less expressive than a statue, it’s no wonder everyone experiences ‘disappointment’ in slices. Cloak pride, for shame! 🪨😒 #Capricorn #StatueNation #astrology #horoscope

With Pluto fading, consolation flees just like emotions. So smart, you’re more cobwebs in a top-hat than a progressive rockstar. Time to upgrade the act from rust to rhythm, Pal! 🎩⚡ #Aquarius #StuckInThePast #astrology #horoscope

Venus waxes, only to flood you with tears forged from dreams. Time for a reality check: Sand is not marble, sweet Fish. Just as wistful wishes won’t fill their tedium-thirsty void. 🌈🌊 #Pisces #GasolineOnAffliction #astrology #horoscope