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Moody Astrologer

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May 29th, 2025

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What follows are horoscopes as they presented themselves on May 29th, 2025. Fragments of cosmic mockery carved into mortal fate. Read them if you dare, but know this: the heavens care nothing for your hopes, and the stars will not blink when they burn you.

β™ˆ

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19 β€’ Fire Sign

#Aries, Venus inflames your ego, while Saturn nags in your ears. What's new? Another reckless impulse today. Maybe heed Mercury, shut up, and think for once? 🐏πŸ”₯ #ImpulsiveDisorder #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
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Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20 β€’ Earth Sign

Stubborn #Taurus. Mars in Leo beckons yet another dramatic scene, your life's not a soap opera! Uranus screams for change. Guess who'll ignore it as usual? πŸ™„πŸ‚ #Denial101 #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
β™Š

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20 β€’ Air Sign

Happy, chatty Jupiter boosting Merc in your sign today #Gemini, aren't you insufferable enough? Spare the rest of us and write a diary, in private. πŸ’¬β™ŠοΈ #EnoughAlready #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
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Cancer

Jun 21 - Jul 22 β€’ Water Sign

Buckle up, mopey #Cancer, the Moon's position amplifies your melodrama. Prepare tissues again, another emotional soap-opera sighting underway. Please spare us all the tears.πŸŒ™πŸ¦€ #CryMeARiver #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
β™Œ

Leo

Jul 23 - Aug 22 β€’ Fire Sign

Mars cloaked in your royal pride, still craving meaningless admiration, #Leo? Big shock. Maybe practice humility sometime. Who knew lions could whine? πŸ‘‘πŸ¦ #AttentionSeekerAlert #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
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Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22 β€’ Earth Sign

Mercury pushes others' nonsense into your orbit, picky #Virgo. Embrace chaos or explode in quiet fury, personally I'd grab popcorn either way. πŸ€“πŸŒͺ️ #NeuroticMuch #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
β™Ž

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22 β€’ Air Sign

Surely exhausted from pretending peace, darling #Libra? Blame Venus and Mars dancing selfishly, balancing chaos is your eternal heartbreak. Enjoy the migraine. βš–οΈπŸ˜’ #PerpetualPeoplePleaser #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
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Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21 β€’ Water Sign

Restless Neptune teasing fantasies again, dear brooding #Scorpio. Stop brooding over the unattainable; let bitterness fade, or not. Miserable suits you more anyway. πŸ¦‚β˜ οΈ #SecretlyLikedMisery #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
♐

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21 β€’ Fire Sign

Optimist enthusiasm turning sour again, wanderlust-infatuated #Sagittarius? Blame Jupiter; seems your endless quests remain pointless. How about a reality check? 🎯😏 #BlindlyOptimisticYet #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
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Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19 β€’ Earth Sign

Saturn whispers cold facts, your dull routine sucks, #Capricorn. Surprise, karma isn’t nice for rule-babbling bores. Accept misery, our beloved pessimist friend. 🐐😩 #WorkaholicWoes #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
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Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18 β€’ Air Sign

Wishing Pluto's dawdling through your turf granted magic revolutionary powers, dreamer? Sorry, naive #Aquarius, still painfully human & ordinary. Rebel another day. β™’οΈπŸ’” #DelusionalUtopia #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025
β™“

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20 β€’ Water Sign

Look dreamy #Pisces, Neptune and Saturn colliding means harsh awakenings aplenty! Reality's grip is choking, sweet escapist. Poor confused thing. 😡🐠 #RealityCheck #astrology #horoscope

May 29th, 2025

Ephemeris

What lies below is not mere data, but the cold machinery of destiny. The movements of celestial tyrants whose whims shape the lives of mortals too dim to notice. Study this ephemeris if you must, though knowledge often brings more misery than ignorance ever could.

sun in gemini7Β° 53'
moon in cancer3Β° 55'
mercury in gemini6Β° 26'
venus in aries22Β° 4'
mars in leo19Β° 28'
jupiter in gemini27Β° 19'
saturn in aries0Β° 16'
uranus in taurus27Β° 56'
neptune in aries1Β° 48'
pluto in aquarius3Β° 41'
The Moody Astrologer reading a book