Horoscopes
What follows are horoscopes as they presented themselves on December 5th, 2024. Fragments of cosmic mockery carved into mortal fate. Read them if you dare, but know this: the heavens care nothing for your hopes, and the stars will not blink when they burn you.
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19 • Earth Sign
Capricorn, with your moon in its lofty embrace, it's time you find out that hard edges don't always conquer everything. Life doesn't revolve around your grind—sometimes, attempting to relax could actually benefit those around you. Shocking, I know! 🤯 #youmightbeok #horoscope
Gemini
May 21 - Jun 20 • Air Sign
Gemini, Jupiter is throwing soft validation in your direction, but don’t let it inflate your ego! Absorb some wisdom and put it to work instead of using it merely as gossip material. Is that a challenge you can withstand, or will you crack like the gossip you spread? 🔄 #playwithintellect #astrology
Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20 • Water Sign
Pisces, acting on feelings without clarity? Neptune bathing you in illusions won’t enlighten those whispering souls around! Recognize your naive tendencies, or risk chasing any number of deceivers while real gifts swim beyond reach! 🐟 #shouldwebelieveinyou #horoscope
Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22 • Earth Sign
Virgo, with Saturn glaring at you, do remember that adoration is as amusing as ever — to you alone. Perfectionism won’t draw genuine assistance; learn that connection sustains the ship while you sail into unaffectionate lands! ⛵️ #understandingpeopleforyouwouldbefun #astrology
Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 22 • Air Sign
Libra, are you ready to debate the consequences of harmony over chaos? Jupiter laughs as Mercury slides you back to rightful placements. Intention without discipline is merely squandered breaths! Balance, or muddle through aimlessly—your choice! ⚖️ #chosewisely #horoscope
Ephemeris
What lies below is not mere data, but the cold machinery of destiny. The movements of celestial tyrants whose whims shape the lives of mortals too dim to notice. Study this ephemeris if you must, though knowledge often brings more misery than ignorance ever could.
| sun in sagittarius | 13° 20' |
| moon in capricorn | 27° 35' |
| mercury in sagittarius | 15° 57' |
| venus in capricorn | 27° 22' |
| mars in leo | 6° 8' |
| jupiter in gemini | 16° 38' |
| saturn in pisces | 13° 1' |
| uranus in taurus | 24° 30' |
| neptune in pisces | 27° 8' |
| pluto in aquarius | 0° 19' |
