Horoscopes
What follows are horoscopes as they presented themselves on April 6th, 2025. Fragments of cosmic mockery carved into mortal fate. Read them if you dare, but know this: the heavens care nothing for your hopes, and the stars will not blink when they burn you.
Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22 • Earth Sign
Hey #Virgo, perfectionist much? With so much going on, mercury!, worrying about tiny specs will drive you maddening! You might spontaneously combust from your visions of order! Sit down and breathe for once. 🍃 #MinorTemporalDisturbance #astrology #horoscope
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19 • Earth Sign
Hark, #Capricorn! With Saturn’s lingering heavy limbs, ambition is in its generous giving! Just realize wandering scale isn't ethical here, success isn't born from brutality. Hope you're not farming souls for dreams! ☠️ #TimeDoesntCureEverything #astrology #horoscope
Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20 • Water Sign
My pitiful #Pisces, drowning in a sea of emotions! Mercury and Venus dance in your murky waters, so maybe stop trying to escape reality? Your ideals are lovely, but face them or drown like your peers did before you. 🌊 #DelusionsRunWild #astrology #horoscope
Ephemeris
What lies below is not mere data, but the cold machinery of destiny. The movements of celestial tyrants whose whims shape the lives of mortals too dim to notice. Study this ephemeris if you must, though knowledge often brings more misery than ignorance ever could.
| sun in aries | 16° 26' |
| moon in cancer | 27° 31' |
| mercury in pisces | 26° 55' |
| venus in pisces | 25° 37' |
| mars in cancer | 25° 18' |
| jupiter in gemini | 16° 46' |
| saturn in pisces | 25° 5' |
| uranus in taurus | 24° 59' |
| neptune in aries | 0° 14' |
| pluto in aquarius | 3° 37' |
