Horoscopes
What follows are horoscopes as they presented themselves on May 26th, 2025. Fragments of cosmic mockery carved into mortal fate. Read them if you dare, but know this: the heavens care nothing for your hopes, and the stars will not blink when they burn you.
Gemini
May 21 - Jun 20 β’ Air Sign
With the Sun and Jupiter clustering, you might think youβre wiser than you are. Blabber all you want, but remember: quantity over quality often leaves you looking like an imbecile. π€·ββοΈπ€ #gemini #AstrologicalIrony #astrology #horoscope
Scorpio
Oct 23 - Nov 21 β’ Water Sign
Neptune tickles your mystery-loving side, turning secrets into puzzles. Good luck trusting anyone while you swirl in mistrust. Enjoy the distrust and jealousy you nurture like no other. π΅οΈββοΈπ€ #scorpio #PainfulInsight #astrology #horoscope
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19 β’ Earth Sign
With Uranus pricking those walls of yours, donβt be surprised if rebellion blindsides you. Discipline? Ha! Accept that adaptability is your only route to survival. Just this once, try being spontaneous! πβ‘οΈ #capricorn #HarshTruths #astrology #horoscope
Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18 β’ Air Sign
A powerful alignment, Pluto directly awakening your change-seeking nature. An urge to drastically alter your reality next? A warning: upheaval breeds chaos, dear water-bearer. Enjoy the storm ππ #aquarius #BraceYourself #astrology #horoscope
Ephemeris
What lies below is not mere data, but the cold machinery of destiny. The movements of celestial tyrants whose whims shape the lives of mortals too dim to notice. Study this ephemeris if you must, though knowledge often brings more misery than ignorance ever could.
| sun in gemini | 5Β° 0' |
| moon in taurus | 19Β° 3' |
| mercury in taurus | 29Β° 54' |
| venus in aries | 19Β° 17' |
| mars in leo | 17Β° 53' |
| jupiter in gemini | 26Β° 39' |
| saturn in aries | 0Β° 3' |
| uranus in taurus | 27Β° 45' |
| neptune in aries | 1Β° 44' |
| pluto in aquarius | 3Β° 42' |
