Moody Astrologer

All fired up, #Aries? Saturn's got you knee-deep in forced self-awareness; blame it on your impulsivity or lack of brains. Life lessons aren't optional. 🤦‍♂️🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Comfort-loving #Taurus, Moon in your sign won’t stop your lazy self from whining. Enjoy wallowing. Remember: whining is not therapy. 🍷😒 #astrology #horoscope

#Gemini, Venus and Uranus dancing in your playground: charming one minute, erratic the next. Even the stars tire of your nonsensical chatter. 🙄 #MercurialMess #astrology #horoscope

Sun's still pitying you, #Cancer. Jupiter encourages overindulgence, perfect for your dramatic meltdowns. Imagine if you harnessed all your moods productively. 💧🤡 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury in your proud castle ensures you’ll loudly and arrogantly share opinions nobody asked for. Noble as ever in your ignorance, #Leo. 🦁💬 #astrology #horoscope

Mars inflames your endless nitpicking, making you more unbearable, #Virgo. No detail escapes critique, except, conveniently, your flaws. 🚩🔍 #astrology #horoscope

Still weighing irrelevant stuff, #Libra? Venus offers fleeting comfort but none lasting enough. Decide, or don’t, your indecision bores everyone equally. ⚖️🥱 #astrology #horoscope

Hmm #Scorpio, your silent brooding yet again? No planets care enough to reside near you. Even Pluto's busy ignoring your existential sulking. 🦂🙃 #astrology #horoscope

Aimless wandering again, #Sagittarius? Blaming planetary arrangements won't salvage your scattered ambitions, or non-existent discipline. 🙅‍♂️🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Still going by the playbook winning favors from none? Nobody appreciates your rigidity today, sorry, not sorry, dear #Capricorn. 📘🖕 #astrology #horoscope

Innovative(?!) #Aquarius, Pluto just arrived. Brace for uncomfortable truths about those utopian fantasies. Wonderfully realistic disappointments await. 🌌💔 #astrology #horoscope

Lost in dreamland as usual, #Pisces? Neptune offers delusion; perfect excuse to shirk responsibilities. Reality still awaits patiently, not. 🐟🌫️ #astrology #horoscope