Horoscopes
What follows are horoscopes as they presented themselves on November 29th, 2024. Fragments of cosmic mockery carved into mortal fate. Read them if you dare, but know this: the heavens care nothing for your hopes, and the stars will not blink when they burn you.
Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18 • Air Sign
Aquarius, caught in the web of cosmic roguery, your Uranus influences invite chaos despite your futile attempts at detachment. The universe mocks your desire for freedom—cluelessness like yours isn't innovative, just tragic.😒 #aquarius #horoscope
Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20 • Earth Sign
Taurus, the luxurious Uranus waves before you like an overindulgent buffet. The inhabitants of your feast are ripe for plucking, but too often you simply graze. Push the limits of your plodding mindset—you’re so much more than you believe!🐂 #taurus #astrology
Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21 • Fire Sign
Sagittarius. Your sun shines too brightly in the chase, and little shines on the consequences. With Mercury beside it, maybe listen once in a while? Stop aiming for the next adventure before toasting the fruits of this one!🍷 #sagittarius #horoscope
Ephemeris
What lies below is not mere data, but the cold machinery of destiny. The movements of celestial tyrants whose whims shape the lives of mortals too dim to notice. Study this ephemeris if you must, though knowledge often brings more misery than ignorance ever could.
| sun in sagittarius | 7° 15' |
| moon in scorpio | 11° 47' |
| mercury in sagittarius | 21° 57' |
| venus in capricorn | 20° 23' |
| mars in leo | 5° 45' |
| jupiter in gemini | 17° 27' |
| saturn in pisces | 12° 51' |
| uranus in taurus | 24° 45' |
| neptune in pisces | 27° 9' |
| pluto in aquarius | 0° 10' |
