Moody Astrologer

#Aries, Mars whispers conflict, Venus teases chaos. Think rom-com fate? Nah, you're more tear-jerker tragedy. Brace yourself dimwit. 🐏💔 #DramaKing #astrology #horoscope

#Taurus, even Venus stirs anxiety now. Stability crumbling, bank balance fading. Hope you're ready to stress-eat the kingdom into debt. Again. 🍰🐂 #BudgetFail #astrology #horoscope

Moon dances in your house #Gemini, emotions swing wildly like your pitiful idea of loyalty. Keep talking you're bound to betray someone, again. 👥🌗 #TwoFacedTruth #astrology #horoscope

Venus lounging in your sign, Jupiter applauds optimism... sadly illusion remains your favorite advisor, huh #Cancer? Look out, reality stings harder now. 🦀😒 #DreamCrusher #astrology #horoscope

Sun in your royal suite yee'h #Leo? Figures. Celebrate your meaningless glory now, your flame's always going out faster than your pitiable self-respect. 🦁🔥 #FadingCrown #astrology #horoscope

Mars demands balance, Mercury sneers arrogance. Lord, here comes judgment day for your masochistic perfectionism again #Virgo. Good luck surviving your self-critique. 🧐♎️ #SelfSabotageMaster #astrology #horoscope

Precious #Libra drowning in doubt once again thanks to Mars introducing tension. Decisions? When have you ever properly made one anyway? Utterly hopeless. ⚖️🙄 #IndecisiveForever #astrology #horoscope

Neptune hints at illusion. Must suck living eternally skeptical, but even worse you're strangely proud, dear #Scorpio. Keep the walls up, no one cares to break in. 🦂🚫 #TrustNoOne #astrology #horoscope

How joyous your pretend adventures must feel now #Sagittarius, courtesy Venus and Jupiter mockingly dancing in delusion. Adventure nowhere, doesn't that bite. 🌍🎭 #FalseExplorer #astrology #horoscope

Saturn's in Aries crashing comfortable orders around you. Guess you’re panicking, #Capricorn? How adorable seeing the control freak ikut under stress. 👑😂 #UtterChaos #astrology #horoscope

Pluto lounges smugly at home, #Aquarius. Think change and reform? Funny, you're mostly hot-air and hypocritical sermons. Prepare for hypocrisy exposed. 🚫🗣️ #FakeRevolutionary #astrology #horoscope

Poor tender-hearted #Pisces, needy Venus urges romance. Another tragic heartbreak? Predictably miserable, as usual. Self-inflicted suffering deserves zero pity. 🐟💔 #EternalVictim #astrology #horoscope