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Moody Astrologer

Horoscopes

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August 24th, 2025

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What follows are horoscopes as they presented themselves on August 24th, 2025. Fragments of cosmic mockery carved into mortal fate. Read them if you dare, but know this: the heavens care nothing for your hopes, and the stars will not blink when they burn you.

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19Fire Sign

Mars in Libra has you dancing on eggshells today, #Aries, finally, bless your tactless soul. Think before swinging your sword for once or live to regret it. ⚔️🙄 #SarcasmIncluded #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20Earth Sign

Venus lurking in sensitive Cancer might trigger emotional cravings today, again. Comfort foods can't fill that empty void you insist on carrying, dear #Taurus. 🍰😒 #RealityCheck #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20Air Sign

Mercury blazing arrogantly through fiery Leo has your tongue wagging nonsense again, #Gemini. bravo 🙌 Keep digging that hole; nobody's tired of your chatter yet. #TalklessSayMore #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Cancer

Jun 21 - Jul 22Water Sign

This overemotional Venus/Jupiter mess you got going today is exhausting enough as it is, the stars cringe at your mood swings #Cancer. Cry me a river 🌊🎻.#MoodyBlues #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Leo

Jul 23 - Aug 22Fire Sign

Mercury parading shamelessly over your arrogant sign, #Leo, ensures your ego inflates bigger than your intellect, dangerously impossible! Praise yourself silently for once 🦁🤫 #HumblePie #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22Earth Sign

Sun and Moon unite in your nitpicky sign making today unbearable for all around you. Please, spare us and lower your unattainable standards #Virgo, surely it'll be fine. 🙏😖 #PerfectionistProblems #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22Air Sign

Mars trampling through your polished #Libra world like a clumsy fool turns your delicate diplomacy into passive-aggression eliganza. Just openly insult someone today, quit pretending. 🤡⚖️ #FakeHarmony #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21Water Sign

Pluto loitering at Aquarius whispers rebellion today #Scorpio; As if we needed your dark intensity mixing with edgy rebellion. Calm yourself or warn us ahead of your breakdown. 🌑🥀 #SoMuchDrama #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21Fire Sign

Heavens neglected you, #Sagittarius, today's planetary lineup offers nothing special for once. Enjoy one rare day absent your dramatic attempts to astound us… or irritate us.🎭🤷‍♂️ #TragicallyUnnoticed #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19Earth Sign

Rigidly clinging to ambition again #Capricorn? Shocker. Your prized plans won't unfold smoother by obsession alone. Rest today and brood over something besides success. 🐐😤 #AmbitionFatigue #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18Air Sign

Pluto hovering grimly in your backyard warrants some soul-searching today, #Aquarius, but who am I kidding? Not like you'll bother listening. Here's hoping sanity finds you first. 👻🤦🏼#DelusionsOfGrandeur #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20Water Sign

With Venus in emotionally cancerous waters today, the compact between heart and brain grows even murkier for you, #Pisces. Surprising no one, you pick wrong… again.🐟😭 #ForeverMistaken #astrology #horoscope

August 24th, 2025

Ephemeris

What lies below is not mere data, but the cold machinery of destiny. The movements of celestial tyrants whose whims shape the lives of mortals too dim to notice. Study this ephemeris if you must, though knowledge often brings more misery than ignorance ever could.

sun in virgo1° 6'
moon in virgo9° 59'
mercury in leo13° 34'
venus in cancer27° 59'
mars in libra10° 45'
jupiter in cancer16° 23'
saturn in aries0° 32'
uranus in gemini1° 23'
neptune in aries1° 33'
pluto in aquarius1° 55'
The Moody Astrologer reading a book