Moody Astrologer

Hey #Aries, Mercury and Venus swimming with the Sun? Even the cosmos pities your inability to filter thoughts from trash. Hope you like apologies, practice now, you'll need them all week. 🥀 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury's muck and Venus's pity party both missed you, #aries. Try not to cry harder than everyone else when your childish plans explode in your face. No helmet can fix stupid, but you keep trying. 🥊 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, #Aries, Saturn’s nagging makes you responsible for everyone else’s mess. Your blood pressure is the only thing going up this week. Wear a helmet. 🪓 #astrology #horoscope

Pisces planets drag you down, aries. Your fire’s a soggy matchstick, try not to burn out crying this week. Even Saturn's laughing at your tantrums. #aries 🔥😢 #astrology #horoscope

Don’t run, Aries, the Moon exposes your ego, and Mars abandons the battlefield. Watch your temper tantrum bounce off bored faces. Your glory’s as extinct as your charm. #Aries 🥀 #astrology #horoscope

Venus & Saturn give you all the charm of a porcupine rolling in broken glass. Look in the mirror before blaming others for loneliness, #aries. Ego meets reality. 💔 #astrology #horoscope

Venus dumped her trash in your sign, Aries, so you’re full of needy energy and none of the charm. Flirt all you want, everyone’s still dodging your DMs. #Aries 🥀 #astrology #horoscope