Moody Astrologer

Congrats, #Aries. With your cartoon Mars in Aquarius, you’ll bulldoze into every wall and call it progress. Try not to break your own skull. 🚧 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury slipping into Pisces has scrambled your brain, Aries. Trying to make a plan? Don't bother. It’ll collapse like your so-called ‘leadership’. #Aries 🧨 #astrology #horoscope

Today, you’re as subtle as a bulldozer on fire. With Mercury melting in Pisces, don’t bother pretending you're deep. Your thoughts leak out like crude oil. #Aries 🦏 #astrology #horoscope

You’d charge a wall headfirst and call it strategy. With Neptune stumbling in, nice try, at least you’ll dream big while accomplishing nothing. #Aries 🦏 #astrology #horoscope

The Sun snubs you, Moon’s cold, and Mercury whispers lies in your ear. Keep charging, #aries, straight into another mess. Maybe Mars will send flowers to your ER bed. 🚑 #astrology #horoscope

Congratulations, Aries. With your impulse control in the gutter and Mercury fogging your brain, even goldfish look at you and judge. Burn out, don’t fade away. #Aries 🥀 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, #Aries. With your last two brain cells fighting in Mercury’s soggy Pisces, prepare to forget your own name by noon. Ask Siri for help, she’s smarter. 🥴 #astrology #horoscope