Moody Astrologer

#Cancer, Jupiter in your sign makes you extra emotional, but Mars couldn’t care less. Go ahead, cry about nothing. At least your tears will water those dead houseplants. 🌧️ #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter inflates your feelings, Venus makes them pathetic, in other words, #cancer, expect to overshare, then cry about sharing too much. At least your tears water the carpet! 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter wants you to feel special, #Cancer, but the only thing expanding is your urge to cling. Nobody wants your mood swings. Grow a shell, or use it. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, cancer, Jupiter in your sign means your mood swings increase to catastrophic levels. Quick, cry into your shell before you flood the village. #cancer 🌊 #astrology #horoscope

Cancer, the Moon’s pitstop in Libra means zero comfort for you. Try not to sob when your emotional support routines collapse. Again. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s shacked up in your sign, but don’t get cocky, #cancer. Luck visits everyone except cowards who hide from their own shadow. Crawl out. Sunburn is character-building. #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter in Cancer makes you weepier than a soap opera marathon. Go ahead, rewrite your will after someone forgets your birthday. Drama queen. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope