Moody Astrologer

Jupiter’s feeding your feelings, again. #Cancer, you’ve already cried over three dumb things and it’s not even noon. Hide in your shell, bore yourself to sleep. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Every planet that could help is napping. Go ahead, #Cancer, cry into your soup tonight. Poseidon hears you, and he’s laughing too. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

#Cancer, your guardian Jupiter's on vacation, so Mercury and Mars make you a weepy snail with anger issues. Hide in your shell and cry, nobody misses you at the party anyway. #astrology #horoscope

#Cancer, Moon’s got you drowning in feels, again. Everyone’s tired of your soggy self-pity. Maybe try feeling less and adulting more. Trust me, Kleenex isn’t a personality. #astrology #horoscope

Every planet's having a crisis over you, #Cancer, so naturally you’ll just spiral and weep. Drown us all or just yourself this time? Moisturize, at least. 🌊 #astrology #horoscope

The Moon roars in Leo but you’re just a soggy crab pretending to be king. Hug yourself, Cancer, nobody else will bother. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Cancer, Jupiter’s fattening your delusions while Mars in Pisces floods your mood swings. Cry less, whine more, your shell’s the only safe space today. Hermit on, #Cancer. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope