Moody Astrologer

Jupiter’s sloshing through your emotions, grab a mop, Cancer. You’ll be weeping at commercials and rainclouds like the dramatic sponge you are. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

#cancer, Jupiter’s feeding your melodrama and Mars in Aquarius is here to laugh. Prepare your tears, everyone else needs a break from your ‘sensitivity’. 😢 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s in your sign, #Cancer, so your emotions are larger, softer, and twice as soggy. Cry louder, maybe someone will finally care. Spoiler: They won't. #astrology #horoscope

Moon and Jupiter are coddling #cancer, the corner-sobbing drama crab. Suck it up, little puddle, not every mood swing deserves a parade. Your shell is thinner than your patience. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Sun in Pisces with Jupiter bloated in your sign, your emotions are a buffet, minus the taste. Crying solves nothing, but try anyway. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Cancer, Jupiter’s sobbing in your sign but no one notices, your tears are background noise. Crawl back in your shell and whimper for applause. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter tries to help, but you’re still a crying sponge with a shell. No amount of cosmic pep talks can save you from self-pity tonight, #cancer. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope