Moody Astrologer

Everyone’s bathing in Aquarius weirdness, but you’re still crawling in the shadows hoping someone cares. They don't, Scorpio. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

With Mars in frosty Aquarius and Venus vaccumed into Pisces, your sting barely registers. #scorpio, you’re about as menacing as a wet sock. 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

#Scorpio, Mars abandoned you for Aquarius. So your sting is weaker than chamomile tea. Good luck intimidating your laundry pile, let alone anyone else. #astrology #horoscope

Hey #scorpio, hope you like water, because you're neck-deep in mushy Pisces energy. Good luck plotting revenge while sobbing uncontrollably. No one’s scared, just bemused. 🕷️ #astrology #horoscope

Mars forgot your invite, Scorpio, and Pluto's too busy brooding. You'll mistake moodiness for depth again, how original. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Scorpio, Mars is busy electrocuting Aquarius and you’re left brooding in yesterday’s eyeliner. Not every vendetta is worth scrapbooking, creep. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Mars is off babbling in Aquarius, so you’re just spicy on Twitter, not in real life. Try a new hobby, #scorpio, like admitting your own irrelevance. 🦂 #astrology #horoscope