Moody Astrologer

Look, Mars in Virgo gifts you disappointment in meticulous detail. I hope overthinking fills your day as joyfully as your empty dreams. #Aries 🌑⚔️ #astrology #horoscope

Venus graces you in Taurus, fool, yet personal fulfillment still slips beneath your greedy hooves! Enjoy brief tastes of perfection, illusion tastes sweet. #Taurus 🍷🐂 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury in Leo strokes that over-inflated ego, Gemini, boldly blaming your messes on destiny again, hm? The stars tire of your chatter almost as much as I do. #Gemini 🍃🙄 #astrology #horoscope

Sun and Jupiter bless your sign, riches you think? Aim lower; your luck peaks at mediocrity, dear Cancerians. Settle in comfort for bland disappointment. #Cancer 🦀✨ #astrology #horoscope

Mercury whispers sweet lullabies to massive egos born under #Leo. But, surely your drama will overshadow any witty thought surfacing today. Bravo! 🎭🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Mars kissing Virgo: congrats! You're now empowered to elevate your worthless nagging further. Rare planetary snobbery for one who relishes misery. Happy fret! #Virgo 🤦‍♂️🪐 #astrology #horoscope

Libra with Moon in your scales, expect yet another phase of tiresome indecisiveness. As always, you weigh options beautifully–and procrastinate masterfully. Cue the yawn. #Libra ⚖️😪 #astrology #horoscope

Still longing for vengeance, Scorpio? Neptune lears impatiently; bask deep in paranoia ..but beware illusions; trusting fools never learn. Stay vigilant, distrusting one. #Scorpio 🦂🌊 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn squatting gleefully in Aries, sending fires towards pity dreams of success. How poetic, Sagittarius, inspired freedom thwarted by mundane obstruction. Run nowhere fast. #Sagittarius 🏹🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto challenges stubborn goats; revolution looms. Must rams always hold onto traditions that died centuries ago? Probably. Loathe fresh starts while Rome burns anew. #Capricorn 🐐🥱 #astrology #horoscope

Feel Pluto's weight, Aquarius? It doesn't signal grandeur, just suffocating accountability. New age floods your comfortable rebellion. Tough luck; welcome grown-up dread. #Aquarius 🌑🌌 #astrology #horoscope

Neptune in Aries mocks fantasy-loving fish for daring new dreams; swim into impassable rivers if abandon suits you, nothing thrills your fickle scales over reality anyway. Idiocy suits. #Pisces 🐟🌫️ #astrology #horoscope