Moody Astrologer

Lovely, #Aries. Mars in practical Virgo kicking your impatient ass to clean your mess. Maybe stop yelling at fate, it clearly doesn't listen to tantrums. 🔥 #TemperTemper #astrology #horoscope

Listen here, stubborn #Taurus. Venus is flirting with fickle Gemini, making your predictable ways annoy even YOU. Embrace chaos or better yet, hide. 🤷‍♂️ #ChangeOrElse #astrology #horoscope

Mercury perched in arrogant Leo. Enjoy the extra charm, #Gemini, great timing, since your flaky mood swings push away everyone anyway. 🗣️ #TurnItDown #astrology #horoscope

Happy emo season, #Cancer. The Sun and Jupiter empower that melodrama knack. Just please, avoid singing ballads loudly. My ears already bleed. 🌑🎻 #EmotionalDamage #astrology #horoscope

Mercury keeping house in your sign, #Leo. Your mouth runs faster than your brains, or ego. Slow down before your charm turns toxic. Oh wait, too late. 👑 #KingOfPlayYourself #astrology #horoscope

Mars tells you to hurry up #Virgo. All your nitpicky nonsense isn't saving the sinking ship of your plans this time. Admit it, you're clueless. 🧹🔥 #PerfectlyScrewed #astrology #horoscope

Naive #Libra, Venus in Gemini multiplies confusion in love. Imagine choosing ONE thing without overthinking, or making me vomit. 🤮⚖️ #PickADamnSide #astrology #horoscope

Treading waters, moon in deceptive Pisces like your own scheming self. Trust no one, they dislike you anyway. Typical. 🤨🦂 #CantFoolTheStars #scorpio #astrology #horoscope

Please shut up already. With Mercury in loud Leo, your storytelling reaches obnoxious levels. Take that boundless optimisim elsewhere. 🤐🎯 #SilentIsGolden #sagittarius #astrology #horoscope

Saturn retro'ing in Aries, your careful ambitions collapse faster than your forced smiles lately. Accept defeat or burden us all further. 🥱💼 #AchievementsFail #capricorn #astrology #horoscope

Ahut your ideals. Pluto’s bracing themselves in your detached sign, bringing that superiority complex kicking into high gear. Surprise nobody liked you anyway.🌀😒 #AboveUsAll #aquarius #astrology #horoscope

Cheer up, #Pisces, or not. Moon clasps your hand softly, encouraging deeper delusions today. Remember reality? Didn't think so. 🌚🐟 #FantasyIsland #astrology #horoscope