Moody Astrologer

Congrats, #aries: Mercury fries your last brain cell, Mars makes you loud and wrong. Take another wild swing at life, nobody notices your aim sucks anyway. 🪓 #astrology #horoscope

Your fire fizzles, Moon, Venus, everyone is emo in Scorpio, so try brooding before you do anything stupid. But hey, self-restraint isn’t in your toolkit, #Aries. Good luck not punching a mirror. 🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Try not to set everything on fire just because Mars is tickling your ego. #Aries, burn your bridges slower, you’ll need the scraps to build your next dumpster fire. 🔥 #astrology #horoscope

You’re all Mars, zero brains, and this week Mars says run headfirst into a brick wall, again. Don’t expect applause. #Aries 🧱 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, #Aries: Mars says act first, think never. Watch your impulsiveness snowball into disaster, again. Your only victory? Shocking everyone with just how bad decisions can get. 🧨 #astrology #horoscope

Your bravado's on life support, Aries. Mars is out making Sagittarius look wild while you’re left fumbling the basics. Try not to pull a hamstring tripping over your own ego. #Aries 🐏 #astrology #horoscope

Mars in Sagittarius hands you a megaphone for your idiocy. Yell louder, baby ram, so everyone knows how little you actually know. Try not to trip over your ego. #Aries 🙄 #astrology #horoscope