Moody Astrologer

Congrats, Aries. All this Aquarius chaos, yet you’re still basic. Your ‘bold moves’ today look like toddlers flinging spaghetti, just more embarrassing. #Aries 🥄 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, #Aries. Everyone’s moving forward but you’re stuck revving your engine with the handbrake on. Mars says if you crash and burn, at least try to enjoy the flames. 🏎️🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Congratulations, #Aries. The Moon’s in Gemini but your attention span is still nonexistent. Maybe try staying focused for a whole sentence, no, too late. ADHD isn’t a personality. 🧨 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, #Aries, your ‘bold’ ideas today are as fresh as month-old bread. Moon in Gemini says run your mouth, no one’s listening, but that never stopped you high-speed trainwrecks before. 💥 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, Aries, these Aquarius vibes have you tripping over your own ego. Try not to start a ‘revolution’ and then cry when nobody joins. Good luck, #Aries. ⚰️ #astrology #horoscope

Hey #Aries, all that Aquarian air’s got you thinking you’re original, newsflash, you’re as subtle as a train wreck at a mime convention. Maybe sit down before you hurt someone (again). 🙄 #astrology #horoscope

Mars running wild in Aquarius means you’re extra impulsive...again. Congrats, #aries, the Human Cannonball. Try not to blow yourself up before noon. 🚀 #astrology #horoscope