Moody Astrologer

Jupiter’s bloated in Cancer while Moon weeps in Pisces. That flood of feelings? No one asked. Mop up your salty puddle. #Cancer 🌧️ #astrology #horoscope

Moon’s flirting with Aries so you’re even more unstable than usual. Prepare your emotional sandbag barricades, #Cancer. Nobody wants tickets to your self-pity parade, not even you. #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s making everything bigger, like your talent for melodrama. Try less weeping, more doing. Or just crawl back under your shell. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter bloats your feelings, Venus mocks your relationships, and you, #Cancer, play the eternal victim. Save the drama, no one’s watching your soap opera. #PityParty #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s weeping with you, Cancer. Maybe try leaving the house? Or just keep crying into your emotional swamp. #cancer 🫠 #astrology #horoscope

Cancer, Jupiter clings to you like mildew on soggy bread. If you get any more sentimental, you’ll drown the group chat with tragic oversharing. #Cancer ☔ #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter thinks you’ll win big. Spoiler: you won’t. Quit hiding and blaming your shell. #cancer, emotional black belt in bellyaching. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope