Moody Astrologer

Moon’s on fire but you’re underwater, Cancer. Cry, cling, repeat. No one’s listening. You’re less ‘sensitive soul,’ more ‘leaky bucket.’ #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s bloated in Cancer, inflating your neediness. You think you’re nurturing, #Cancer, but really you’re just stage-five clinger with attachment issues. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter inflates your self-pity, Moon stirs the swamp. Everyone’s tired of your sob story, cry harder, no one’s listening. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Sun’s roasting your feelings and Jupiter’s hogging your self-pity. Cry harder, no one’s buying it. Drown in your own tidal wave. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter puffs up your emotions, Cancer. Oh joy: you’ll cry over spilled milk, then write poetry about it. Move on, melodrama queen. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter puffs up your self-pity into a bloated tragedy, Cancer. Hide in your shell, sob theatrically, and pretend the world’s at fault. Spoiler: It’s you. #Cancer 🦀😭 #astrology #horoscope

Moon's in your sign, so crank those crocodile tears. No one cares, Cancer. The world’s not your therapist and neither am I. #Cancer 😭 #astrology #horoscope