Moody Astrologer

Jupiter’s smothering, just like you, Cancer. Cling harder, watch them run faster. Tears are your only hobby now. #cancer 🌊 #astrology #horoscope

Venus is too busy with Sagittarius to give you affection, Cancer. Curl up in your shell and sob, your default move anyway. No one’s coming to save you. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Venus, and Mars ignore you, #cancer, so you’re twice as clingy and none the cuter. Jupiter shoves you over the emotional edge, enjoy drowning in your own saltwater tears. Lifevest not included. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter tried blessing you, Cancer, but you’d cry over spilt milk even if it was spilled by the gods. Wipe your tears, they're embarrassing everyone. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s blessing you with 'potential', too bad you’ll nap through it. Feelings galore, initiative zero. Go hug your pillow and cry about it. #Cancer #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s dropped an emotional anvil on your shell, Cancer. Keep hiding, no one misses your melodrama anyway. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Look, Moon is home, Cancer. Does it help? No. Double the mood swings and triple the melodrama. Build another pillow fort and whimper inside. #Cancer 🌧️ #astrology #horoscope