Moody Astrologer

Jupiter’s bloating your emotions, Cancer, so expect tears at shoe commercials and a fresh notebook for journaling every petty slight. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

#Cancer, Jupiter bloats your feelings till you’re a walking soap opera. Bring tissues, or better yet, a bucket for your own tears. Even crabs can drown, you know. 🦀💧 #astrology #horoscope

Poor #Cancer, clinging to Jupiter for emotional validation like a barnacle to a sinking ship. You need a hug? Buy a weighted blanket. The rest of us aren’t grieving with you. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

#Cancer, bless your clammy heart. Wallowing is your only motion, even with Jupiter BEGGING you to grow a spine. Time to make a tidal wave, of excuses, as usual. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Moon's home, Cancer. How original: you’re even moodier than usual. Bake your sad little cake and wallow in tears. The world’s not listening. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Poor #Cancer. You’re one moon wobble away from full meltdown. Everyone knows you’re crying under that shell, but now with Jupiter involved, even your sob stories are insufferably dramatic. 🦀😭 #astrology #horoscope

Moon at your cliff’s edge, sobbing with Jupiter’s pity, no one cares, #cancer. Build your moat, cry your river, drown in both. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope