Moody Astrologer

Sun, Venus, Mars, this pileup in Capricorn should be a glow-up. Instead, it’s an existential rash, #Capricorn. Ambition won’t solve your deep-seated misery. 💀 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, Capricorn, half the solar system’s squatting in your sign and you still can’t buy happiness. Embrace mediocrity. #Capricorn ⛰️ #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Venus, Mars, Capricorn’s a celestial clown car. Enjoy carrying 2024’s emotional baggage. Try to look busy while the rest avoid eye contact. #Capricorn 🧳 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Venus, Mars, your sign’s packed, #Capricorn, but so is your soul: with misery. Work harder. It won’t fill the void, but you’ll die trying. 🏔️ #astrology #horoscope

All eyes on you, Sun, Venus, Mars, Mercury gone full corporate. #Capricorn, try not to dry up from all that ambition. No, nobody's impressed. #astrology #horoscope

All eyes are on you, congratulations, #Capricorn: you’re the CEO of Overcompensation. Enjoy leading a committee of existential crises! 🥂 #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn, the sky’s stuffed with planets in your sign, a cosmic roast. Even the universe can’t stomach that much boring ambition. Try smiling. #Capricorn 🧊 #astrology #horoscope