Moody Astrologer

Capricorn, the Sun, Moon, and Mars are staging a cringefest in your honor. All this power, and still no one likes you. Work harder, die madder. #Capricorn 🧊 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mars, Pluto: the unholy trinity is in Capricorn. Try not to grind all your enemies into fertilizer, you’re already cold enough. #Capricorn ⚰️ #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mars, Pluto, Capricorn, you’re a cosmic control freak with the emotional range of a filing cabinet. Don’t mistake your ‘focus’ for charisma. #Capricorn 🗂️ #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Venus, Mars... All eyes on you. Too bad they see a sweaty workaholic scraping for validation. Keep climbing, hamster. #Capricorn 🐐 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, Capricorn! This is your planetary rave, yet you’re still miserable. Achievement unlocked: Supreme Bore. Take a nap. #Capricorn 🪨 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mars, Venus, party at your place, but it’s a funeral for fun. Drag the rest of us into your joyless grind, #Capricorn. 🪦 #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, nearly everything’s in your sign, #Capricorn. Soak it up, there’s enough responsibility here to asphyxiate a robot. Work harder, you affectionless automaton. #astrology #horoscope