Moody Astrologer

Five planets kneeling in your dark temple, #capricorn. Guess what? Still nobody likes you. Count your achievements alone. #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn, I’d tell you to lighten up, but with half the cosmos demanding overtime, you’ll be grinding yourself into dust. Enjoy that success, if you live. #CapricornCracked 🏔️ #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn, you’ve collected all the planets like tax receipts. And what does it get you? Existential constipation. Your ambition just makes everyone nap. #Capricorn 🦴 #astrology #horoscope

Every planet crashing your party, so, what’s your excuse for being so miserable? Even the stars find you insufferable today. #Capricorn 🪓 #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn, you’re finally the center of the universe. Shame your reign is as inspiring as a tax audit. Rule on, cardboard king. #Capricorn 👑 #astrology #horoscope

Congratulations, Capricorn, the universe is grimacing at your power grab. Rule your tiny kingdom of misery while the rest of us nap. #Capricorn 👑 #astrology #horoscope

Wow #Capricorn, every planet crashed your party. Congratulations, you’re responsible for literally everything that goes wrong today. Don’t screw it up. 🏔️ #astrology #horoscope