Moody Astrologer

Mars and Venus are busy in Capricorn, so sex and success both feel like business meetings you weren’t invited to, #Scorpio. Enjoy lurking in the shadows, it’s all you get. #astrology #horoscope

Mars in Capricorn, huh? Your schemes are so convoluted, Scorpio, even you can’t keep track. Pro tip: stop plotting and try existing. #Scorpio 🔪 #astrology #horoscope

Mars in Capricorn? Your usual brooding looks like mid-level management grumpiness, #scorpio. Fear you? Ha! The only thing you murder today is morale. #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn planets block your plotting. Go ahead, glare from the shadows, #Scorpio. Still useless. Nobody is scared of the office goth. 🕸️ #astrology #horoscope

Mars in Capricorn says it’s ruthless time, Scorpio, but you’re about as menacing as a wet sock. Brood in the corner, try not to bore yourself. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Mars is busy in Capricorn, so #Scorpio, channel that brooding rage into productivity. Or just brood. The outcome is equally pointless. #astrology #horoscope

Mars in Capricorn dulls your sting to a mildly annoying poke. #Scorpio, your intensity looks like constipation today. 🦂 #EdgyFail #astrology #horoscope