Moody Astrologer

Ugh #Aries, with Mars in passive ♎︎ avoid starting wars you're too inept to finish. I know thinking hurts, but try anyway. ⚔️ #HopelessCases #astrology #horoscope

#Taurus, your desire for luxury meets harsh Venus in prideful Leo. Stop wasting your coins on shiny garbage, it's painful to watch. 💎🐂 #RichPoorTastes #astrology #horoscope

Moon in YOUR chaotic gemini realms along witty Uranus? As if you weren't annoying enough already. Choose fewer words, humanity thanks you. 🙄 #GeminiProblems #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter in #Cancer and you're drunk on emotional indulgence. I don't need an ocean to drown, just your endless drama. Come up for air, pathetic crab. 🌧️🦀 #CryMeARiver #astrology #horoscope

Poor insignificant #Leo, Venus graces your pompous abode, what joy. The stars pity your astronomical ego trip almost as much as I do. 🪞🦁 #BlindedByEgo #astrology #horoscope

Sun AND Mercury nesting in your obsessively nitpicky turf #Virgo? Shocker. Put the magnifying glass away, nobody asked for your sad analysis. 📚#PerfectionParalysis #astrology #horoscope

Mars awkwardly hushed in #Libra isn’t flattering, it's pathetic. Indecision is your brand, yes, but now it's even LESS cute. Make a choice for once. ⚖️ #SpinelessScales #astrology #horoscope

Really #Scorpio? Pluto skimming Aquarius and branded rebellion beckoning? Predictable. Take your furtive plotting elsewhere, your ‘dark charm’ bores me. 🦂 #Yawn #astrology #horoscope

With Saturn nearing end of soft Pisces, responsibility is sneaking toward you #Sagittarius. Prepare for adulthood, the endless impulse-chasing stops here 🤡🎯 #PartyOver #astrology #horoscope

Honestly #Capricorn, even Neptune in headfirst Aries won’t awaken your dead imagination. Dream a little, but you're probably too busy gagging ambition. 🗝️🐐 #DullAmbition #astrology #horoscope

Congrats, #Aquarius Pluto has officially entered your eccentric territory now? Spare me your contrived individuality, your tragic unique act deceives no one. 🤖 #Yawnspiration #astrology #horoscope

Dear, sigh, Saturn leaves Pisces soon, leaving you adrift (again). Reality checks were exhausting, huh? Better go back to vapid daydreaming, darling. 💭🐠 #PiscesPathetic #astrology #horoscope