Moody Astrologer

Jupiter’s in your sign, but luck just laughs at you, #Cancer. Hide in your shell all you want, the world sees your tears. Maybe try crying with some dignity next time. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s bloated in your sign, Cancer, but your luck’s thinner than your shell. Go ‘feel’ something, maybe some rejection. #Cancer 🙄 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter sits in Cancer, inflating your feelings until you’re a walking Hallmark card with claws. No one’s asking for emotional tidal waves. Mop up. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter oozes excess and Capricorn crushes your mood, classic #Cancer, tears and carbs incoming. Try not to drown in your own melodrama. 🍕 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s parked here, just in time for you to play victim and martyr. Enjoy the pity, #Cancer, because no one else is buying it. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

The Moon's in Cancer, and so are your tears. Go ahead, cry about it, #Cancer. Maybe someone will pretend to care. Spoiler: they won't. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Cancer, so many planets opposing you, it’s a cosmic intervention. Cry louder, the Moon in your sign covers nothing. Sob stories won’t save you this week. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope