Moody Astrologer

Mercury's in Libra, so your famous ‘charge ahead’ attitude hits a brick wall, again. Go ahead, try diplomacy. We both know it’ll sound like threats. #Aries #SubtletyFail 😂 #astrology #horoscope

Venus cowers in Virgo, just like your ambition. Your idea of self-care is a snack and a nap. Productivity? Maybe next century. #Taurus 🐄 Try not to trip over your own laziness. #astrology #horoscope

With Uranus in Gemini and your mind on overdrive, you’ll switch opinions faster than a street magician. No one believes you, least of all yourself. #Gemini 🤡 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter bloats your feelings, and you’re more sensitive than a paper cut in salt water. Go cry to the Moon, Cancer, she’s just as tired of you as we are. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

The Sun’s hiding in Virgo, so your spotlight is more like a flickering candle. Strut all you want, Leo, nobody’s watching, everyone’s judging. #Leo 🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Moon, Sun, and Venus in Virgo: as if one wasn’t bad enough. Everything’s a crisis, everything’s dirty, and you’re still not good enough. Have fun spiraling. #Virgo 🛁 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury and Mars in Libra make you overthink every argument…then lose them anyway. Congrats, Libra: your indecision is somehow aggressive now. #Libra ⚖️ #astrology #horoscope

Nothing for you in the dark, just Pluto sulking in Aquarius. Keep spying, Scorpio, maybe one day people will care enough to have secrets worth stealing. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s busy boosting Cancer’s sob story, leaving you stuck repeating your shallow philosophies. Bored yet? We all are, Sag. #Sagittarius 🎯 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn retrogrades through Pisces, so your ‘discipline’ is now just sulking masked as ambition. Build your empire, out of sand. #Capricorn 🐐 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto creeps in Aquarius, stirring your inner rebel. So edgy! Go ahead, ‘change the world’, someone has to laugh at the failed revolution. #Aquarius 🧠 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s drowning you in your own melancholy, Pisces. Solid boundaries are a fairytale, like your love life. Go ahead, dissolve into tears. #Pisces 🐟 #astrology #horoscope