Moody Astrologer

Mood’s as fiery as a wet match, Aries. Mars just neutered your swagger, charge ahead, fall flat, blame everyone else. Maybe therapy, or just take a nap? #Aries 🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Venus is busy ignoring you, Taurus, and so should everyone else. Indulge in another sleeve of cookies while nothing changes. Gold medal in unremarkable. #Taurus 🐄 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s in Virgo, Gemini, which means your jokes aren’t landing and no one cares about your 34 group chats. Keep talking, you'll say something useful by accident. #Gemini 😶‍🌫️ #astrology #horoscope

Cry harder, Cancer. Moon’s in your sign but not even the tides are impressed with your emotional theatrics. Maybe your shell needs better insulation. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Leo makes you think you’re irresistible. Spoiler: you’re not. Pose, pout, repeat, still invisible unless you scream. Try humility, it’s a new look. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mercury, everything’s in Virgo, yet still you can’t fix yourself. Micromanage the world, analyze your failures, it’s the only productivity you’re getting. #Virgo 🧹 #astrology #horoscope

Mars in Libra, wow, action-packed! If pacing indecisively counts. You could start a revolution… if only you could pick a side. Enjoy your endless waffling. #Libra ⚖️ #astrology #horoscope

Moon’s emotions meet your sewer of trust issues. Shady as ever, Scorpio. Hide in the shadows firing off snarky texts, no one wants your drama anyway. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

With all these inner planet moods, Sagittarius, your wild ideas are just pipe dreams, again. Keep galloping, nobody’s following. Reality called, it hung up. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s pouting in Pisces, Capricorn, so your ‘grindset’ is just spinning wheels in muddy delusion. Take a break, or at least pretend you have a soul. #Capricorn 🐐 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto in Aquarius, congrats, your revolution will be livestreamed and ignored. Shout into the void, Aquarius, it matches your personality. #Aquarius 👽 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s drowning in Pisces, so your dreams are just waterlogged excuses. Go ahead, daydream professionally. Reality won’t miss you. #Pisces 🌊 #astrology #horoscope