Moody Astrologer

Look, Aries, the universe hands you diplomacy and you still run headlong into disaster. Moon and Mercury in Libra, but tact is wasted on you. Start a fight with a mirror. #Aries 🙄 #astrology #horoscope

Taurus, Venus in Virgo turns your comfort cravings into productivity-whining. Go ahead, fold your emotions into neat, pathetic stacks. Still boring. #Taurus 🥱 #astrology #horoscope

Gemini, enjoy Mercury in Libra, your two personalities might almost agree for once. If gossip burned calories, you’d be weightless. #Gemini 🗣️ #astrology #horoscope

Cancer, Jupiter inflates your emotions while Libra’s skies tell you to ‘keep it together.’ Newsflash: you’ll fail. Prepare for melodrama. Again. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Leo, the Sun’s in Libra but you still think it’s all about you. Spoiler: with Venus in Virgo, nobody wants your recycled charisma today. #Leo 😂 #astrology #horoscope

Virgo, Venus sits in your sign but all you attract is more chores. Scrub your soul all you want, it’s still dirty. #Virgo 🧽 #astrology #horoscope

Libra, with everything crowding your sign, expect an identity crisis. You wanted balance, you got an existential pancake. #Libra ⚖️ #astrology #horoscope

Scorpio, Mars just crawled into your swamp, of course you’re angrier than usual. Slink back to your dark corner and hiss at the moon. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Sagittarius, truth-telling Mercury in Libra tries to civilize you, but your mouth is a loaded crossbow. Insert foot, pull trigger, repeat. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn, Saturn rolls its eyes while Venus in Virgo triggers your workaholism. You can’t spreadsheet your way out of a nervous breakdown. #Capricorn 🗂️ #astrology #horoscope

Aquarius, Uranus says ‘shake things up’ but you just post cryptic online rants. Rebel harder or go back to your echo chamber. #Aquarius 🤖 #astrology #horoscope

Pisces, Neptune’s fresh in Aries but your head’s still in the clouds. March bravely into confusion, you poetic goldfish. #Pisces 🐟 #astrology #horoscope