Moody Astrologer

Mercury's rolling its eyes at you, Aries. Run your mouth, trip over your shoelaces, again. You're not brave, just loud. #Aries 😂 #astrology #horoscope

Venus is sulking in Virgo, and so are you, money tight, love awkward, snacks half-stale. Even cows have more fun. #Taurus 😒 #astrology #horoscope

Moon in Sag is wagging its finger, Gemini. Your gossip isn’t clever, it’s desperate. Everybody’s tuning you out. #Gemini 🙉 #astrology #horoscope

With Mars sneering from Scorpio, your shell looks extra flimsy, Cancer. Get ready to cry over milk that isn't even yours. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Sun's stuck in Libra, Leo, so much for that spotlight. You’re not bold, just annoying in a tasteful font. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in your sign, Virgo. Instead of love, you get the urge to alphabetize your regrets. Nobody's impressed. #Virgo 📚 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mercury both in Libra, so double the dithering. Decisions? Not today. Not ever. Have fun ghosting yourself. #Libra 💀 #astrology #horoscope

Mars barely crept into Scorpio, but you’re still overcompensating. Edgy? Please. More like a moody raccoon. #Scorpio 🦝 #astrology #horoscope

Moon in Sag makes you want to run, but you’ll trip on your own self-importance. Nobody needs your hot takes. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter in Cancer, Saturn drowning in Pisces. Ambition? More like existential dread. Keep climbing… down. #Capricorn 🪦 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto scraping at Aquarius: Revolution? Please. Go back to reorganizing your sock drawer with the rest of the weirdos. #Aquarius 🧦 #astrology #horoscope

Neptune's just barely awake in Aries. Your dreams are on snooze, and so is everyone listening to you ramble. #Pisces 😴 #astrology #horoscope