Moody Astrologer

Still sprinting into disaster? Mars and Mercury mock your life choices. Try thinking before you smash, but hey, losing spectacularly is your #Aries brand. 🏴‍☠️ #astrology #horoscope

Venus shudders at your comfort zone. Moon’s in Cancer, so expect more brooding, less moving. Your stubbornness could kill a cactus. #Taurus #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s flaming your mouth. You’ll talk nonsense so fast even your reflection tunes out. Fill the silence with your own disappointment. #Gemini 🤡 #astrology #horoscope

Moon's in your sign, so crank those crocodile tears. No one cares, Cancer. The world’s not your therapist and neither am I. #Cancer 😭 #astrology #horoscope

Sun’s busy elsewhere, so you’re just another loud shade in the background. No bowing crowds. Go praise yourself alone. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Venus and Mars say perfection is canceled, your attempts will bring only embarrassment. Go alphabetize regrets. #Virgo 📉 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Scorpio leaves you charming as rotten fruit. Your 'balance' is just taking turns being fake. #Libra 🍂 #astrology #horoscope

Sun and Venus in your swamp, soak up drama! Poison your own plans for a change, save us all the hassle. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury and Mars give you mania with a bonus foot-in-mouth moment. Go ahead, burn bridges, you never learned directions anyway. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s sulking, Neptune’s weeping, match their energy. Work harder at pretending you aren’t teetering on the edge. #Capricorn 💀 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto in your yard: the revolution’s canceled, your ideas are moldy, and Uranus says you’re extra weird, even for you. #Aquarius ♒️ #astrology #horoscope

Neptune and Saturn bless you with max confusion. Keep chasing dreams, Pisces, reality already left you on read. #Pisces 🫧 #astrology #horoscope