Moody Astrologer

Mars in Sagittarius says run headfirst into disaster, your favorite sport. Don't trip over your own ego. When brains were handed out, you missed the starting gun. #aries 🪓 #astrology #horoscope

Moon in Capricorn stomps all comfort flat. Guess you’ll graze on disappointment today. Sleep in, or just keep pretending your laziness is a virtue. #taurus 🐄 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury broods in Scorpio, so now your gossip is less witty, more toxic spill. Maybe try not talking for once? Silence would improve you. #gemini 🗣️ #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter bloats your feelings, just what the world needed, more crabby tantrums. Cry harder, you'll still get nothing but eye-rolls. #cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Sun blazes in Sagittarius, but you’ll still find a way to be outshone. Not every day is about you, try therapy instead of demanding applause. #leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Venus and Mercury squabbling in Scorpio? All your nitpicking today is less 'helpful' and more 'soul-annihilating.' Congrats, you’re a buzzkill. #virgo 🦠 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Scorpio: Your love life is a crime scene. Put down the shovel, you can’t charm your way out of this trench. #libra ⚖️ #astrology #horoscope

Mercury, Venus, and your own witchy sign, imagine a swamp of secrets and erotic confusion. You’re not mysterious, just intolerable. #scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Sun and Mars camp in your sign, so OF COURSE you’re a reckless showoff. Try humility, if you can spell it. #sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Moon’s glum in your sign, so you’ll be twice as joyless and three times as bossy. Try not being the villain in your coworkers’ origin stories. #capricorn 🪨 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto’s doing interpretive dance in your sign. Prepare for dramatic self-sabotage. At least chaos makes you feel important. #aquarius 🌀 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn and Neptune tangled up, your dreams are just expensive delusions. Go touch grass before your fantasies drown you. #pisces 🐟 #astrology #horoscope