Moody Astrologer

Congrats, Aries: both Moon and Mars say act first, regret later, so barrel through today like a rabid bull. Maybe try thinking first? Nah, didn’t think so. #Aries 🧨 #astrology #horoscope

Your stubbornness meets a surprise Uranus slap. Don't worry, Taurus, you'll still refuse to change, just more loudly. At least your boredom is predictable. #Taurus 🐄 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s brooding, so your nonstop yapping gets extra toxic. Talk circles all you want, Gemini. Everyone’s checked out after sentence two. #Gemini 🙄 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s making you inflate every sob story, and Moon in Aquarius means no one cares. Cry into your casserole, Cancer. Your comfort zone won’t hug you back. #Cancer #astrology #horoscope

You crave applause, Leo, but with Venus brooding and the Moon in Aquarius, everyone else would pay to mute you. Try humility, a new low for you! #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury and Venus are grumpy and so are you. Nitpick away, Virgo, but nobody’s impressed. Your lists are still useless. Declutter your attitude. #Virgo #astrology #horoscope

You dream of balance, Libra, but Venus is scheming and your charm is six feet under. Flirt elsewhere, Cupid’s on strike. #Libra 💀 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury and Venus camp in Scorpio: poison everywhere. Plot away, Scorpio, but trust issues are lonely hobbies. Dig your own grave and decorate it yourself. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Sun and Mars fuel your delusions, Sagittarius. Run wild and reckless, just don’t whine when the cliff appears. Who needs facts anyway? #Sagittarius 🎯 #astrology #horoscope

Moon in Aquarius? Saturn in your dreams? Good luck, Capricorn. Climbing your mountain of misery with even less support. Savor the solitude. #Capricorn 🏔️ #astrology #horoscope

Aquarius Moon perks you up, finally, someone as detached as you. Try emotion for once, or don’t. No one is waiting for you to join the party. #Aquarius ⚡️ #astrology #horoscope

Neptune fog and Saturn’s cold shoulder: your favorite combo, Pisces. Wallow away, but when you finally wake up, reality’s going to slap harder than I ever could. #Pisces 🌊 #astrology #horoscope