Moody Astrologer

Mars in Sagittarius, but you still trip over your own ego. All fire, no aim. Try not to burn down anything important today, #aries. 🔥 #astrology #horoscope

With Uranus hanging over you, even your stubbornness feels outdated. Let it go, #taurus, or just moo at the void like usual. 🐮 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s skulking in Scorpio, so your 'witty' banter is just venom. Gossip more, maybe someone will finally care, #gemini. 🐍 #astrology #horoscope

Moon’s weeping in Pisces, but no one’s coming to your pity party, #cancer. Cry harder, maybe Neptune will send a fish. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

The Sun abandoned you for Sagittarius. Don’t worry, #leo, you still shine, just like a dumpster fire at midnight. 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Venus and Mercury in Scorpio turn your nagging into outright sabotage. Clutch that spreadsheet, #virgo, nobody’s impressed. 📋 #astrology #horoscope

With Venus hiding in Scorpio, your charm’s gone soggy. Flirt anyway, #libra. Someone might mistake desperation for style. 🍸 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury, Venus, and the power trip are all in your swamp. Congrats, #scorpio, you’re extra toxic today. Even snakes need a day off. 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Sun and Mars in your court, and yet you’ll still leap without looking. Aim for the stars, miss the ground, as always, #sagittarius. 🎯 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s moaning in Pisces, so prepare for extra misery, #capricorn. Ambition isn’t a substitute for a soul. Get one. 🐐 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto just moved in. No, you can’t evict it. Prepare for existential dread, #aquarius, finally a feeling you can’t intellectualize. 👽 #astrology #horoscope

Moon, Saturn, and Neptune in your pond, triple the delusion. Dream bigger, #pisces, but wipe the drool off your pillow first. 🐟 #astrology #horoscope