Moody Astrologer

Bold moves, tiny brain. Mars in Scorpio thinks you can bulldoze through karma. Try using something other than your head for once. Good luck! #aries 🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Virgo makes your laziness look like 'self-care.' Plant yourself on a couch and call it growth. Hope inertia pays interest. #taurus 💤 #astrology #horoscope

With Mercury in Libra, your words drip sugar but rot teeth. Chatter away, Gemini. No one’s listening but you, and even you’re bored. #gemini 🗣️ #astrology #horoscope

Moon in Aquarius? Emotional detachment’s the flavor. Congrats, Cancer, you finally feel nothing, like everyone else wishes you would. #cancer ❄️ #astrology #horoscope

Sun’s in Libra so nobody cares about your spotlight. Practice roaring at a mirror, it’s the only reflection that worships you back. #leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Venus sits in your lap and all you do is nitpick its flaws. Love’s lost just trying to dodge your critiques, give it up, Virgo. #virgo 🧹 #astrology #horoscope

Sun + Mercury begging for attention. Newsflash, Libra: balance isn’t achieved by kissing everyone's feet. Buy yourself a spine. #libra ⚖️ #astrology #horoscope

Mars is home, Scorpio, so brooding’s now a sport. Stare into the abyss too long and you’ll just see your own drama queen reflection. #scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter in Cancer wants deep feels, but you’re allergic to depth. Try not to run away from your emotions, again. Vacation’s over, Sagittarius. #sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn in Pisces shoves you off your high horse into a puddle of feels. Try not to drown in your own ambition, goat boy. #capricorn 🪨 #astrology #horoscope

Moon + Pluto in your sign. Congratulations on becoming a tornado of weird. Everybody’s tired of pretending your mess is ‘quirky.’ #aquarius 🌀 #astrology #horoscope

Neptune in Aries hands you dreams with a side of chaos, good luck distinguishing inspiration from delusion this week, Pisces. #pisces 🌊 #astrology #horoscope