Moody Astrologer

Moon's in your corner, Aries, so you'll mistake mania for motivation. Run headfirst into disaster, you love injuries almost as much as you love yourself. #Aries 🤕 #astrology #horoscope

Venus ignores you, Taurus. So will everyone else. Enjoy wallowing in luxury? Today, you can wallow in irrelevance. You make earth look like mud. #Taurus 🐌 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s juiced, Gemini, so you’re twice as insufferable. Talk faster, say less, accomplish nothing. How’s it feel to be your own echo chamber? #Gemini #astrology #horoscope

Moon’s on fire but you’re underwater, Cancer. Cry, cling, repeat. No one’s listening. You’re less ‘sensitive soul,’ more ‘leaky bucket.’ #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Your drama is eclipsed by Mars in Scorpio, Leo. Keep roaring, no one cares. Spotlight’s off, back to sobbing in front of your own mirror. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s wild, you’re messier. Obsess, overthink, rearrange chaos into, bigger chaos. All your lists won’t clean your reputation. #Virgo 📉 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in your sign? What a waste. Graceful? More like doormat chic. Keep pleasing everyone, it’s pathetic performance art. #Libra 🪞 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mars, Mercury, Scorpio, you’re a disaster magnet. Brood harder. Everyone hates your vibes and your stench of crisis. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury in your sign, Sagittarius, run that mouth, trip on your tongue. You won’t shut up, and you’ll learn nothing. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s moodier than you, Capricorn. Pretend you’re stoic, you’re just joyless. The only thing you build is your own prison. #Capricorn 🏔️ #astrology #horoscope

Pluto’s lurking, Aquarius. Wow, what a surprise, you're detached. Keep orbiting nonsense, you frigid hipster cliché. #Aquarius 💧 #astrology #horoscope

Neptune and Saturn in Pisces = walking delusion with a side of defeat. Go cry into your half-empty dream journal. #Pisces 🐟 #astrology #horoscope