Moody Astrologer

Moon’s lurking in your sign, Aries, so your emotions are louder than your mouth (which is saying something). Try thinking before charging, oh wait, you never do. #Aries 🐏 #astrology #horoscope

With Uranus frying your comfort zone, Taurus, cling to routine all you want, life’s about to bulldoze your cozy rut. Hope you like chaos. #Taurus #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s bored in Scorpio and your brain’s on airplane mode. Geminis, gossip more, maybe something intelligent will slip out by accident. #Gemini 🦋 #astrology #horoscope

Venus is too busy with Sagittarius to give you affection, Cancer. Curl up in your shell and sob, your default move anyway. No one’s coming to save you. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Mars in Sagittarius calls for courage, Leo. Sadly, you’re only brave if there’s a mirror nearby. Loud, proud, and empty as usual. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s rolling its eyes at you from the depths of Scorpio. Virgo, analyze this: nobody cares about your color-coded spreadsheets. #Virgo #astrology #horoscope

Venus has moved on, Libra, but you’re still posting #aesthetic selfies and craving attention. Spoiler: no one likes your fake ‘balanced’ persona. #Libra #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s nesting in Scorpio, so now you’re convinced you’re psychic. Please, everyone knows you just stalk people online. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Venus, and Mars are stacking up, don’t get excited, Sagittarius. Triple the chaos, not triple the luck. World’s not your playground, it’s your disaster zone. #Sagittarius #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s tired in Cancer and Saturn’s moping in Pisces. Capricorn, you’ll work hard for zero applause. Enjoy another week as the universe’s underpaid intern. #Capricorn #astrology #horoscope

Pluto just checked in, time for another ‘rebellious’ phase, Aquarius. Cool story, but you’ll quit halfway and call it a revolution. #Aquarius 🤖 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s in Pisces, so reality keeps slapping your dreamy face. Go back to bed. It’s the only place your life makes sense. #Pisces 🐟 #astrology #horoscope