Moody Astrologer

Feeling ambitious with Mars in Capricorn? Good luck. That mountain you’re climbing is just a molehill to everyone else. Enjoy your delusions of leadership, #Aries. 🏔️ #astrology #horoscope

Uranus in your dull sign still can’t shock you into originality. Same routine, same blandness. Try blinking, that’s brave for you. #Taurus 😴 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s running its mouth in Sagittarius, so you’ll talk a big game and annoy every innocent bystander. Say less, clown. #Gemini 🤡 #astrology #horoscope

The Moon's drowning in Pisces, so you'll sob into oblivion, dreaming of comfort food nobody wants to share. Get a grip, #Cancer. 🍲 #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn planets want hustle, you want applause. Tragic. No one’s watching you today, #Leo. Go practice your tears in the mirror. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn’s cold planets are organizing your misery. All lists, no fun. Keep sorting your sock drawer, #Virgo, that’s your legacy. 🧦 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Capricorn makes love an investment portfolio. Looks like you’re getting emotional bankruptcy, #Libra. Buy some self-respect! 💔 #astrology #horoscope

Big, soulful Moon in Pisces? You’ll brood, whine, sting everyone, repeat. Astounding depth, like a toddler’s puddle. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s in your sign: volume high, substance nil. You’ll mansplain yourself into oblivion, #Sagittarius. Save us all, shut up. 🛑 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mars, Venus, party at your place, but it’s a funeral for fun. Drag the rest of us into your joyless grind, #Capricorn. 🪦 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto’s new in Aquarius, stirring chaos. But you’re still too weird for relevance. Gloat in antisocial silence, #Aquarius. 🤖 #astrology #horoscope

Moon, Saturn, Neptune all pile on, wow, a tsunami of feelings and delusion! Someone get #Pisces a mop and some reality. 🧽 #astrology #horoscope