Moody Astrologer

Congratulations, #Aries. Everyone else is planning, and you’re running headlong into a wall, again. Mars in Capricorn says think twice, but we both know you’d rather eat glass. 🚧 #astrology #horoscope

#Taurus, clinging to routine as Capricorn planets rearrange your sorry comfort zone. Venus laughs at your stubbornness while the world rebrands your mediocrity as ‘grounded’. #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s stuck in stoic Capricorn, so your charm's as dry as yesterday's toast. #Gemini, hope you enjoy being ignored, no one cares about your latest ‘brilliant’ observation. #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn overload: emotions? LOL, what are those? #Cancer, go ahead, try to cry, your own Moon can't hear you, buried under a mountain of responsibilities. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Moon’s passing through your sign, #Leo. For once you’ll cry louder than you roar. Don’t worry, everyone’s ignoring your drama as usual, Capricorn energy demands real work, not theater. #astrology #horoscope

All your careful lists are on fire, #Virgo, thanks to Capricorn chaos. Your precious order can’t save you now. Maybe try a hobby, like watching your plans fail in real time. #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Capricorn: romance is a business transaction this week, #Libra. Try not to weep when love ghostwrites your prenup and invoices your feelings. #astrology #horoscope

Mars and Venus are busy in Capricorn, so sex and success both feel like business meetings you weren’t invited to, #Scorpio. Enjoy lurking in the shadows, it’s all you get. #astrology #horoscope

Ambitious Capricorn weather, eh #Sagittarius? Sorry, flight risk, no escape from Monday or your crushing mediocrity. Keep chasing adventure, maybe you’ll trip into relevance. #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, all in your damn sign. Enjoy feeling burdened, overwhelmed, yet smug. #Capricorn, if misery built fortunes, you’d be a billionaire by now. #astrology #horoscope

Pluto just crept into your sign, #Aquarius. Expect cosmic upheaval, and zero sympathy. Who knew being an ‘innovator’ meant living in chaos with no friends? #astrology #horoscope

Pisces, your dreams? Saturn and Neptune are wrecking them on repeat. Call it ‘spiritual growth’ if you want, but everyone still thinks you’re delusional. #Pisces 🐟 #astrology #horoscope