Moody Astrologer

Ambitious today, Aries? The Moon’s glaring at your lack of follow-through and Mars says you’ll quit halfway. Sprint, faceplant, repeat. Might as well nap. #Aries 💤 #astrology #horoscope

Venus has abandoned you, Taurus. Even food won’t comfort your sulking, lumbering soul today. Hope you like bland cereal and emotional constipation. #Taurus 🥣 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s showing off in Libra and you still can’t finish a thought. Chatter all you want, Gemini, nobody’s listening, not even your imaginary friends. #Gemini 🗣️ #astrology #horoscope

Moon in Capricorn? Feelings on ice, Cancer. Cry all you like, nobody’s mopping the puddle. Collect yourself or drown in your own whimpering. #Cancer 🌧️ #astrology #horoscope

Sun and Mercury in Libra, Leo. Not even your drama distracts anyone, you’re lost in the crowd, roaring to empty seats. Face it: today the world’s the star. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in your sign and still nobody’s grateful. Organize all you want, Virgo, chaos wins, and your spreadsheets are lining the cosmic litter box. #Virgo 📉 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mercury both lounging in your lap, Libra, but all you get is indecision and shallow compliments. Mirror, mirror, nobody cares. #Libra 🪞 #astrology #horoscope

Mars is snarling through Scorpio’s swamp, channel that rage, or brood in the corner like a discount movie villain. Either way: zero effect. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Hope Jupiter in Cancer helps, Sagittarius, because you’re going nowhere. Your luck’s running away from you, probably on someone else’s horse. #Sagittarius 🏇 #astrology #horoscope

Moon in your sign, Capricorn, granting you the emotional range of damp cardboard. Plot and plan, but nothing grows in salt. Try a hug, or not. #Capricorn 🦖 #astrology #horoscope

Uranus is bored with you, Pluto’s unimpressed. Revel in that ‘original’ idea, Aquarius, someone on TikTok did it better. #Aquarius 🤡 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s dragging you, Pisces, dreams shattered like cheap glass. Your escape plan? Cry harder, float nowhere. Embrace being the cosmic sponge. #Pisces 🐟 #astrology #horoscope