Moody Astrologer

Moon drowns your courage, Venus laughs at your hygiene, don’t pick a fight, not even with a mirror. You’ll still lose. #Aries 🪞 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Virgo's got you counting pennies and calories, but you still can’t buy class or taste. Keep hoarding, you beige potato. #Taurus #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s tangled in Libra, making your gossip sound like a legal deposition. You’re boring, indecisive and twice as noisy. #Gemini #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s bloated in Cancer while Moon weeps in Pisces. That flood of feelings? No one asked. Mop up your salty puddle. #Cancer 🌧️ #astrology #horoscope

Sun in Libra stole your spotlight, no one’s applauding your drama. How tragic. Maybe try juggling fire, at least you’ll warm someone. #Leo 🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Virgo, congrats, you’ve peaked at passive-aggressive nitpicking. Sharpen that tongue, you still won’t fix anyone. #Virgo #astrology #horoscope

Sun and Mercury in Libra? What a combo, twice the indecision, none of the charm. Even your mirror’s tired of your face. #Libra 💅 #astrology #horoscope

Mars crawls through Scorpio, yet you still act mysterious about your feelings. Just hiss and bite already, drama-llama. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

With no fire to stoke, you’re less wild stallion, more lost luggage. Hold another philosophy debate with your houseplants. #Sagittarius #astrology #horoscope

Pluto peers from Aquarius, but not even transformation can help your sense of humor. Go climb a mountain, you’re only funny at altitude. #Capricorn 🗻 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto says rebel, but you’re just an off-script NPC. Dream big, disappoint bigger. Don’t worry, no one’s watching. #Aquarius 🧊 #astrology #horoscope

Moon and Saturn soaked in your sign, wallow on, sponge. Good luck distinguishing your intuition from your wet socks. #Pisces 🐟 #astrology #horoscope