Moody Astrologer

Your ego’s on fire, but so is your stupidity, blaming everyone but yourself for that mess. Congrats, #Aries: top spot in the ‘Runs Headlong Into Disaster’ Olympics. 🧨 #astrology #horoscope

Venus is too busy flirting with Libra to save you. Stubborn as ever, Taurus, but don’t worry, your comfort zone can double as a grave. #Taurus #astrology #horoscope

With Mercury sulking in Scorpio, your mouth writes checks your brain can’t cash. #Gemini, hope you enjoy awkward silences after your next word-vomit. 🦗 #astrology #horoscope

Moon’s strutting in Leo, so you’ll overreact even more than usual. Your feelings aren’t the center of the universe. Shocking, I know. #Cancer #astrology #horoscope

Moon’s in your sign, get ready for an emotional meltdown so dramatic, even you’ll cringe. Narcissism called, it wants its dignity back. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Mars slinking through Scorpio makes you itch for control. Newsflash, Virgo: the universe won’t fit in your spreadsheet. Deal with it. #Virgo 📉 #astrology #horoscope

Sun and Venus in your lap, and still can’t make a decision. Keep teetering, Libra. Someday you’ll pick a side, maybe. #Libra #astrology #horoscope

Mercury and Mars are throwing tantrums in your sign. Cold stare, sharp tongue, you call it ‘mysterious,’ I call it exhausting. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

With Moon ignoring you, your wild plans crash and burn. Keep shooting arrows, Sag, one might eventually stick in reality. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

All your Saturnian discipline, and still losing your grip. Keep climbing, Capricorn. That mountain? It’s a landfill. #Capricorn #astrology #horoscope

Neptune and Pluto in the corner but you’re still delusional. Aquarius, your ‘rebel’ act is so tired even Uranus fell asleep. #Aquarius 💤 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s sitting on your soul, so of course you’re a puddle of regret. Try not to drown in your own drama, Pisces. #Pisces 🌧️ #astrology #horoscope