Moody Astrologer

Congrats, Aries. The Moon and Venus are in Libra, so today your charm falls flat and your temper fizzles. Try not to trip over your own heroic illusions. #Aries 🥀 #astrology #horoscope

Taurus, Venus is too busy schmoozing in Libra to care about your lazy cravings. Prepare to be bored, broke, and blissfully ignored. #Taurus 💸 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s brooding in Scorpio, Gemini. So naturally, your gossip gets dark, and nobody’s laughing but you. Maybe learn to keep your mouth shut? #Gemini 🤐 #astrology #horoscope

Mars and Mercury are lurking in the shadows, so Cancer, you’ll be extra whiny and passive-aggressive. Your coping strategy: sulking. Groundbreaking. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Hey Leo, the Sun is crawling through boring old Libra. You’re not a star, you’re background noise today. Get off the stage, nobody’s looking. #Leo 😴 #astrology #horoscope

Virgo, Mercury’s gone full Scorpio gloom, so your nitpicking is extra suffocating. No one wants your pointed advice, least of all you. #Virgo 🧹 #astrology #horoscope

Libra, Sun, Moon, Venus, you’ve peaked. Enjoy this last gasp of relevance before your indecision drags you back to obscurity. #Libra 🎭 #astrology #horoscope

Scorpio, Mars and Mercury make you extra obsessive and moody. You’re intense, but mostly irritating. Everyone’s tired of your stare. #Scorpio 👁️ #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter’s stuck in sentimental Cancer, Sagittarius. Go preach about freedom, nobody cares about your soggy spirit quest. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn in Pisces makes you weak, not wise, Capricorn. Your plans? As stable as wet tissue. Authority complex still intact though. #Capricorn 🪦 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto’s just entered Aquarius, so you’re feeling edgy and misunderstood. Spoiler: Edgy is just code for annoying today. #Aquarius 🧬 #astrology #horoscope

Neptune in Aries, Saturn in Pisces, your vibes are extra delusional. Even your fantasies have plot holes. Reality check? Not interested. #Pisces 🌊 #astrology #horoscope