Moody Astrologer

Congrats, #Aries: your ego’s tender and your logic’s dead. Moon and Venus in Libra mean nobody’s admiring your tantrum, again. Pout harder, maybe someone will care. 🚫🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Hey #Taurus, with this Libra overload, even your stubbornness bores you. Mercury in Scorpio says: try a thought that isn’t about snacks or napping for once. Or don’t. Cows gonna cow. 🐄 #astrology #horoscope

Wow, #Gemini. Mercury and Mars in Scorpio, your words cut, but you still sound like a windchime in a hurricane: loud, hollow, and mostly ignored. Keep jabbering. 🗣️ #astrology #horoscope

#Cancer, Jupiter tries to cheer you up but Sun and Moon in Libra just mean more crying in the bath while pretending it’s ‘self-care’. No one’s fooled. 🛁 #astrology #horoscope

Feel ignored, #Leo? Good. Even the Sun’s sick of you. With Moon and Venus kissing Libra, your dramatic flair’s now background noise. Not every stage is yours, darling. 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

#Virgo, with Mars and Mercury in Scorpio, your criticism's so sharp you’ve out-snarked yourself. Congrats, nobody asked, nobody cares, nobody’s listening. So liberating, right? 😂 #astrology #horoscope

Venus and the Moon in #Libra makes you think you’re everyone’s favorite. You’re not. You’re just the bland appetizer before people get to real excitement, like tax audits. 💅 #astrology #horoscope

#Scorpio, angry planets on your stoop mean your charm’s become pure menace. Everyone’s dodging your vibes like wet socks on a tile floor. Enjoy your own company, no one else will. #astrology #horoscope

Hey #Sagittarius, nobody’s shocked anymore by your ‘big ideas’, with Mercury deep in Scorpio, even you’re bored with your own recycled nonsense. Go ahead, run with scissors. #astrology #horoscope

#Capricorn, Saturn in Pisces means your power trip is more slip’n’slide than summit. Keep grasping, Libra planets guarantee your iron grip turns to sweaty palms. 🏔️ #astrology #horoscope

Uranus in Gemini and Pluto in Aquarius? Congrats, #Aquarius, you’re a rebel in your own echo chamber. Bizarre doesn’t equal interesting, just ask your five Twitter bots. #astrology #horoscope

Dream on, #Pisces. Neptune in Aries has you confusing instincts for inspiration, again. Sorry, but nobody’s following you off that cliff. Don’t worry, you’ll land softly, in denial. 🐟 #astrology #horoscope